Are you ready for some typos and poorly constructed sentences? Duh duh duh dun.
In celebration of the San Francisco 49ers first telecast night game* since turning Mexicans off American Football for good in 2005 when the NFL generously pitted the 49ers coming off a 2-14 year against tonight's opponent the Arizona Cardinals coming off a (I'm guessing here) 5-11 campaign. Who could forget the 49ers prior year's sole night game, the Ken Dorsey/Craig Krenzel 2003 Orange Bowl rematch? I'll tell you who, Rex Grossman, I believe he has that game on DVD and sends it as a response to every Chicago sportswriter who asks week after week "could it get any worse?" It will also be the first Monday Night Football game in San Francisco, the stadium is now apparently titled Bill Walsh Field in Monster Park at Candlestick Point, since their 2003 trouncing of the Tommy Maddox-led Pittsburgh Steelers.
*the Niners did have a game on the NFL Network last year (a victory over eventual division champs, Seattle) but seeing how that channel operates as a soverign station telecast solely in the mind of the elves that live under your younger brother's bed.
What better way to end the first week of the season then a head to head match up of two teams that ended with a combined 13 wins last year? ESPN thinks so highly of this game that they resorted to the gimmickry of having it announced by three guys named Mike (Golic, Ditka, and some other dude), surely forgetting NBC's disatrous early 90's pregrame show Dickin' Around featuring Dick Enberg, Dick Stockton and Dick Vermeil. Seriously though, I do have issues with Ditka announcing a game that will serve as a memorial to Bill Walsh. Ditka and Walsh were contempories and Ditka often times talked smack about him and his team, most famously dismissing the 49ers as a "finnesse" team. How's this for finnesse Ditka, in their two NFC Championship match-up, Walsh's Niners beat da Bears by a combined score of 51-3, Walsh's defenses sure finnessed your teams out of the end zone.
Okay, rant over. Let's try this thing out. Best case scenario: the 49ers soundly beat the Cardinals and look like the play-off team people are saying they could be. Worst case scenario: a fifth straight loss to the Cardinals, Frank Gore sustains a injury that keeps him out for the year, and my fiancee comes to her senses and leaves me.