Tuesday, March 24, 2009

An Admittedly Cheap Joke

A couple of weeks ago some friends sent me this link to a 125 page transcript between Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and Lawrence Kasdan of the first story conference of a project that would eventually be Raiders of the Lost Ark.

In response I sent this, I am not saying it's any great shakes, but it's the only thing I've managed to write in the last the few weeks so I may as well include it here at my neglected blog.

Enjoy, or you know, don't...


INT UNIVERSAL STUDIO BOARDROOM-CIRCA 1984


Three well dressed EXECUTIVES sit at a large oval desk, they stare with great anticipation at a world famous, multi-chined, DIRECTOR.

Executive #1: After the success of the Star Wars trilogy, Universal wants to be in the Lucasfilm business.

Executive #2: So what great ideas do you have twirling around in that fantastic brain of yours?

The Director's face emerges from a mountainous pile of cocaine that would make Scarface himself blush.

Director: So there's this comic book, see, it's about a duck from outer space, he comes to earth. Money in the bank.

Executive # 3 cautiously makes a wiping notion with his index finger to his cheek.

Executive # 3: Uh, Geo--Mr. Lucas, you have some, uh, on your cheek there.

Director: Wha?

He touches his cheek, feels the offending substance, pulls out a $5,000 dollar bill, crumples it like a Kleenex and uses it to wipe it away.

Director: There.

Executive # 1: So this, uh, duck idea?

Director: Yeah, his name is Howard, it's going to be.....

The Director
suddenly convulses, the pupils of his eyes turn white.

Director: You meansa peoples gonna die!

Executive # 2: Pardon?

The Director shakes out of his possessed state, returns to normal.

Director: Sorry, just an idea for later.

2 comments:

Mummbles said...

he must have been smoking something. he created star wars and directed 2 good flicks, i count return of the sith as good. i give spielberg more credit for indy anyway. lucas needs to retire soon.

Mummbles said...

opps and american graffiti

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